Cosima Underwater

My heart stopped a few times, and my thumbs are blue, but we are through.

Thank you Klose and thank you Lehmann.

OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE!

I.

I cried
when your son told me
you had died
from deep within my heart

The tears surprised me
We didn’t start well
So much mistrust

Later you told me
My son loves you
I love you too

When I had
A son myself
I understood

Like tigresses
We fight to protect
From whatever harm

II.

I cried
From deep within my heart

Why are you crying?
Your mali sin asked
Because Baba died
So call the doctor
To make her whole again

I remember
Kissing your hands
In the hospital
You forgave me

Where is she now?
In heaven
Oh good, then we see Baba
When we fly

III.

I cried
From deep within my heart

I stand at your grave
In merciless sun
On stony earth
Grey mountains around us

This land has seen
So much hardship
Yours as well

your father’s
empty grave
Next to yours
Taken away
never seen again

IV.

I cried
From deep within my heart

I wish I could
Believe
Like you did
Like the ladies in black
The priest chanting

But I know
That you will live on
in my son

In his eyes
In his energy
In his toughness
In his passion

I love you
From deep within my heart

tags: poem

tags: hnt

I didn’t take reports about excessive German flag-waving too seriously, until I landed at Berlin airport today. Flags on cars in the parking lot, flags on cars on the city-autobahn, and even a few hanging in apartment windows. Usually Germans are pretty restrained when it comes to outward patriotism. As a mama-mobile with two German flags was overtaking us, my father reminded me of the reason for that restraint.

“The last time I’ve seen so many flags was during Nazi time.”

And then he told the story of Frau Schmidt, the universally-hated Blockwart of the building he grew up in. Her job was to ensure that her building was in-line with Nazi doctrine, insisting that even windows facing the courtyard hang Hakenkreuz-flags on Nazi holidays. Then my father grinned sarcastically and said “and by the way, when the first Russian soldiers rounded the corner of our street, she was also the first to hang white linens outside her window.”

Don’t get me wrong, I do get the difference between now and then, but somehow I hope these little flags will remain seasonal World Cup items. Like the Christmas decoration that gets packed away after the holidays are over. And in the meantime, I will be the odd one out and put the flag below on my bicycle while I’m here.

PS: After 1945, many German girls put the discarded Hakenkreuz-flags to good use, and wore red skirts with white and black trimmings. These were tough times and fabric was hard to come by. With my fellow countrymen and -women being into recycling these days, I wonder what we could do with all these little German flags after the World Cup is over. One flag is enough for one thong, if you have two more you don’t need to go topless ;)

tags: world cup, flag-waving, berlin

As I write this, I am sitting in an airplane going from Hong Kong to London, and the only good thing is that my notebook’s battery hasn’t yet died. The flight is full with a United Nations of people, and no one is comfortable. Are my legs growing longer or are seat pitches getting shorter? The woman across the aisle has knotted her legs in front of her in a yoga position. I wish I would be that flexible.

A while ago, we were all freezing in an arctic storm that came from the air-conditioning. Someone must have complained, because now we are slowly cooking in our own juices. And if that wasn’t enough, someone behind me is practicing the art of silent farting.

Heeeeeeelp! I want out!

At least my son is sleeping. He had a full program the last couple of days with play dates and an outing to the beach with friends yesterday.

North of Omsk, almost six hours to go to London, and then another flight to Berlin. I used to enjoy flying…

tags: flying

photo: AFP

tags: world cup, podolski, germany

Today, my son and I went on a little shopping spree. First clothes for mama (“Mama I am bored, let’s go to the toy store”), then to the toy store, and finally a big candy store pulled us magically inside. It was called Ichiban, which means number one in Japanese. And it really was a number one candy store, because it had lots of open display boxes, and we could choose and mix. We filled a small plastic bag with Japanese candies, and bought various other goodies.

After dinner, this marshmallow with orange filling didn’t survive for long.

It received a “very yummy” rating from my son.

Next on the list was the green lime candy on the right below. Which first received a “very yummy” rating, but caused panic later and was spit on the floor.

“It tickles my tongue”. It was fizzy candy.

Then we opened the purple package on the right, which I had selected because it looked so pretty.

It turned out to be some sort of jell-o with a small prune inside. I had already tried Chinese dried prunes before, so I was prepared for the taste when I put some of it in my mouth, and managed not to grimace. Chinese prunes are salty and seasoned with licorice. They help against nausea and indigestion.

“I don’t want to eat this one. It looks funny”, was the initial reaction of my son.
“Well, if you don’t try it. You will never know if it’s good”. I’m so mean.
“Yuk! The ladies in the candy shop must really hate us, otherwise they would not have given us this one”.

So the prune jell-o received a unanimous “definitely not yummy” rating. And as I mentioned before, I really regret not being able to read Chinese.

Next week:

The Melty Kiss review

tags: candy, hong kong

The air felt oppressive. Alex could feel the pavement’s heat through his shoe soles. His shirt was drenched with sweat and his mouth was dry. The city had been hot and without rain for weeks. The street cafes, he passed on his way from work, were full of people, escaping their hot homes and offices and drinking beer to cool down.

It had been an exhausting day. He had hoped to finalize a lucrative deal for his firm. The very first, which he had originated. It had all gone terribly wrong. Suddenly legal issues popped up no one had thought of before, and now it looked as if the deal would never happen.

Alex decided to take a detour on his way home through the neighborhood park to clear his head. There was a path leading up a hill, overlooking the city. Normally, an artificial waterfall rushed down the hill, but this time the river bed was dry. All the city’s fountains had been turned off to preserve water.

Half-way up the hill, he suddenly heard thunder. That’s just my luck, he thought. Now that shelter was out of reach, mother nature decided to let it rain for the first time in weeks. As he pondered what to do next, lightning started and the thunder drew closer. Then it began to rain. Alex had never experienced anything quite like it. In a matter of seconds, visibility was down to a few meters. Puddles formed everywhere and the thrashing rain formed large bubbles. He was soaked to the skin in no time. At first, he was angry about his plight, but as he surrendered to his wet fate he actually started to enjoy himself. He looked up to the sky and felt the warm rain falling over his face. He decided to continue up the hill to be a little closer to the sky, as other people scurried for the park’s exits.

As he reached the viewing platform at the top of the hill, the rain had eased and he could make out the outlines of the city below him in the rainy mist. The city with its many trees looked like a rainforest today. Water was now cascading down the hill in the once empty water fall.

Suddenly, Alex became aware of a dancing figure on the lawn below him. A young woman in a white summer dress with long black hair spun around, holding her face up to the rain. It was such a beautiful sight, he couldn’t help but stare at her.

He wanted to be near her, see her more clearly, make sure she wasn’t just an illusion. He went down the stairs of the viewing platform and turned around a corner. To his relief, there she was, still dancing in circles. He walked down a path and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, but his shoes made loud squishing noises with every step.

“You should take off your shoes. It’s more fun.”
Feeling like a caught intruder, Alex turned around to her.
“You’re right. I should.”
He took off his shoes and socks and unsure of what to do next just smiled at her. She smiled back, making his knees go weak. Then she came towards him, took him by both hands and drew him onto the lawn.
“Dance with me!”

Alex couldn’t believe what was happening. Heat rushed through his body as he drew her closer. He put one arm around her waist, held her hand with the other and they began to turn in faster and faster spins. She looked up to him with her beautiful smile and he couldn’t help but laugh full of joy.

Alex drew her even closer, embracing her. She smelled intoxicating. He looked at the delicate skin beneath her ear. He so badly wanted to kiss her there.

She closed her eyes and held her face into the rain. When she opened them again she looked very serious and stretched higher to kiss him.

“Goodbye, I need to go”, she said.
“No, please, not yet!”
She laughed. “I have to.”
“Before you go …”
Alex leaned his head against hers. Slowed his breath and let his lips brush over the spot beneath her ear. His mouth traveled down the side of her neck to the hollow where her shoulder began. He gave her the slightest kiss there.
“I am falling” she whispered.
“I will catch you.”

Suddenly, she pulled out of his arms, ran down the path, and disappeared around a bend. Stunned, Alex stared after her, unable to move.

Maybe it was just a dream, he thought. But then, he saw a single red shoe, lying at the edge of the lawn, and he knew that it had been all for real. He grabbed her shoe and his, and began running down the path. He headed for the nearest exit, hoping to catch her there.

When he arrived, he stopped and looked down the street. She was nowhere to be seen.

Out of breath and disheartened, Alexander sat down on the nearest bench and put on his socks and shoes. Then he examined the single red sandal: size 38, hand made in Italy, and bought at Staccato. He knew the store. It was three blocks from his home.

It’s at least a start, he thought, I will go there tomorrow.

tags: berlin, kreuzberg, short story, cinderella

Photoshop is marvelous…once you get the hang of it, because intuitive it is not. Here are the results of my latest lesson:

Kitty, kitty, kitty…

tags: hnt

Today’s weather:

freaking hot and buckets of rain

tags: hong kong, photo, star ferry