Cosima Underwater

Hongkong’s English-language newspaper has a regular feature in its “Life” section, asking local fashion gurus what they have in their closets. Most interviewees brag about their Manolo Blahniks, which isn’t too interesting to read. If they had guts they would interview Birkenstock wearers like me…

Wardrobe staple?
Jeans. I own four pairs of identical jeans that fit well, look good, and are very comfortable to wear.

What would you never throw out of your closet?
I would throw out anything, but there are a few items I am very attached too. One is a black cashmere wool coat, which is at least fifteen years old. I like it’s cut very much, but sadly it has become very threadbare at the ends of the arms. I am constantly on the lookout for a similar coat that can replace it.

Fashion no-nos?
Isn’t everything allowed these days? I think women should wear what suits them and fits well. Unfortunately, that’s very hard to do. Many of the clothes in stores have been designed with malnourished teenagers in mind, and for larger sizes all that is done is to add a few extra inches of fabric all around. It’s no wonder that these clothes do not look good.

Must-have accessory?
My red wallet by Spanish leather goods maker Loewe. I bought it on impulse over ten years ago. Before, I owned dark colored wallets that I never managed to find quickly in my purse, and regularly fell apart after only a year. The red beauty was insanely expensive. I think at no point in time did it hold more money than it cost. However, after more than ten years of trusty service, I feel that the initial outlay has been amortized.

Shoe pick for the season?
Eh… the same pick as last year. Winter is coming up, and I hope I get to take out my boots out of their hiding-place under the bed. At the moment, it’s much to warm to wear them.

Favourite shoe designer?
Birkenstock. To my defense, I have to say that I wear the more feminine models. They are very comfortable and keep my feet healthy, but what is best is the cork material the soles are made of It keeps the feet cool in summer, which is so nice in Hong Kong’s hot and humid weather.

To all who say that Birkis are ugly…

…to get feet like these is much uglier.

Flats or stilettos?
Both. I wear flats when I have to walk a lot, and stilettos when I dress up.

Your best high-street steal?
Hmmm… I think that reduced 5er pack of bikini knickers was a great buy.

Bag pick for the winter?
I have to buy a new one. I had bought a brightly colored handbag from Nepal at a Berlin street market this summer, but it unravelled at the seams. It cost only ten Euros. At the moment, I am using a rather elegant black Coach bag, which I had bought ages ago for the office. Looks a bit ridiculous with jeans and Birkis.

Most cherished fashion items?
Lingerie. I love buying it, and I love putting it on because it puts me in a good mood. Also my sun glasses, because I look like a Bond girl when wearing them they shade my eyes from the merciless Hong Kong sun.

What do you buy every winter?
Paper tissues for the snivels.

What’s on your “most wanted” fashion list for winter?
A wool cap in which I don’t look like a complete dork, before I go to Germany for Christmas.

 Style icon?

I think Vivienne Westwood is pretty cool. First off, she has a face that reminds me of Maggie Thatcher’s, still she manages to portray the exact opposite image. That’s a feat in itself. Secondly, I get the feeling that she really understands the craft of tailoring, and designs with originality and wit.

High-end or high street?
I am thinking about putting up a PayPal-button in the sidebar for high-end fashion donations, or I could apply to become Karl’s next muse…
In the meantime, it’s the lower end of high street.

Personal style philosophy?
Both my mom and my grandmother were tailors, which doesn’t make me very knowledgeable about fashion, but I can appreciate the skill and experience that goes into a well designed and well sewn piece of clothing. There is a huge difference between a tailor-made garment, cut for your figure, and a ready-made piece. I can’t really afford to have tailor-made clothing, but I am pretty discerning about fit. I love to wear clothing that looks feminine and is comfortable at the same time.

Fashion disaster?
Shoes that looked and felt good when trying them in the shop, but caused lots of blisters later on… I have a few of those.

Favourite winter fashion accessories?

     ;D

Your fashion style?
Whatever Hennes & Mauritz has to offer with the occasional high-priced retail therapy item thrown in.

Wardrobe essentials?
Always make sure your fly is zipped before going out into the street. I think that’s pretty essential.

PS: The Chinese medicine helped. My cold isn’t gone completely, but I can breathe again.

Yesterday, I went to see a doctor who practices traditional Chinese medicine. There were several reasons for the visit. The most important one being that I have been snot-nosed and coughing my throat out for more than a week. I have tried to cure my cold with aspirin, tea, and menthol rub, but the little bugs inside of me laughed at that, and choose to drown me in more phlegm, which made it very hard to breathe. A few days ago, I was standing in line at the supermarket and couldn’t get air into my lungs for a few moments, because my nose and throat were blocked completely.

I didn’t want to go to a Western-style doctor, because he probably would have given me a round of antibiotics, which I think should only be a last resort. I also admit, that I was very curious. I have never been to a doctor practicing traditional medicine before. Pharmacies selling natural Chinese medicine are widespread in Hong Kong, and for me they hold a strange allure. It’s a mixture of respect for the ancient knowledge and philosophy behind it, and also wonderment about all the slightly exotic ingredients.

So I went into my neighborhood’s Chinese pharmacy, which looks very different from your typical Western one. The shop is lined with shelves and drawers filled with various dried roots, leaves, and animal parts, and the shop smells … medicinal.

Naively I assumed that I could just go in there, say that I have a very bad cold, and be given a ready-made tea mixture. The shop assistant was an elderly lady, who could speak as much English as I speak Cantonese, which made communication very difficult. But she pulled out her mobile phone, smiled at me, and said “doctor”. She spoke to the doctor and told me to come back (pointing first at me than at the ground in front of her) on “tomorrow tomorrow” (two fingers up) “six o’clock” (six fingers up).

When I turned up at the appointed time, I was led to the back of the shop, to the doctor’s consultation room. Fortunately, he spoke better English than I do. He asked me to describe my illness, asked me a few questions, took my pulse, asked me to stuck my tongue out, and then said that I have a viral infection. He told me that my medicine would be ready tomorrow lunch-time. He charged me US$ 30 for the consultation, which included the medicine. For a Western-style consultation the fee would have been at least three times as much, which is probably part of the answer why traditional Chinese medicine is so popular.

Today, I went back to the shop to get my medicine from the lady. It was a paper cup filled with dark brown tea and two salted plums. The tea smelt ok, but tasted extremely bitter. I am sure it would have been best to drink it hot, but I just couldn’t bring myself to drink it quickly. I needed the whole day to drink the whole cup, and every gulp required great effort… brrrrrrrrrr

I do wonder what was in there. The shop lady told me to call the doctor. I could ask him… but do I really want to know? I am guessing roots and plants with antiviral and astringent properties. But why in hell, do the have to taste so bitter? I asked a Chinese friend, and she told me with a smile that medicine has to taste bitter, otherwise it’s not good.

So, if bitterness is directly related to effectiveness, my cold will be over in no time.

The last few days were a challenge that stripped away self-delusions and brought out my inner core. There isn’t much left of it.

I have been in a marriage that developed from bad to worse over the last couple of years. If you asked me to explain why, I would have difficulties doing it. All I can see is that two very good people went through some rough patches in their lives, and instead of supporting each other, chose to bring each other down. There was no understanding for the other on either side. We have two very different worlds in our heads.

It didn’t help that family members meddled in our relationship from the beginning. I was typecast as an intruder to be suspicious of, and whenever I had different views or chose to do things differently than they would, I was looked down on and told how bad a person I am. When it first happened, I was stunned, to say the least.

I wouldn’t say that in my world there is no good and bad, but I understand that very often there are different ways of looking or doing something, and one doesn’t necessarily need to be better than the other. And although I suffer from that typical female affliction of wanting to please everyone and make them like me, there are areas were I am very stubborn and insist on my ways no matter what.

So what do you do, when your views don’t match, and no one compromises? When the initial butterfly stage is over, the weaknesses and strengths of a relationship become apparent. Over the last years, I have noticed how much compromise is necessary to keep this relationship afloat, and how much I have given up holding it together. I don’t blame my husband for it, it was my choice. I should not have done it.

The tragic in all of this is that the birth of our son was the catalyst of our problems. Before, we had two very independent lives, and were happy to share the bits that we had in common. Since the birth of our son, we needed to find common ground in more areas than before. That, together with the tasks of bringing up a child, having a close family member die of cancer, and making enough money to pay the bills has strained our relationship. There is very little understanding left on either side.

Our son has held us together up until recently. If it would not have been for him, I would have packed my bags long ago. We lived side by side, but not with each other.

Then my husband received a job offer in another country, which he couldn’t refuse, and asked me to move with him. I chose not to, because very little would have been left of me, if I had. I was accused of letting my son down, of making him suffer, of being selfish. The whole family from his side joined in, and I felt like being tied to a ship’s mast in gale force winds.

The good thing is that, although things came to a head, for the first time in years, we are talking about our relationship. Something I tried to do for all of the last year with minimal results.

I don’t know where all of this will lead to. On the risk of sounding indeed very selfish, I am going to concentrate on getting my life back to something I can be proud of and happy with, and I think that will be better for little man as well.

PS: Anon, As you can see, I have accepted your challenge. I don’t know what made me change my mind, but writing about it, felt very good.

Everyone thinks “big nose”, although it’s really “silent cry”.

source: zwarwald.de

Yippee! Cosima Inc.’s website is live and running, and – oh wonder – hasn’t crashed or being hacked into… yet. High time to reemerge from the world of geeks and nerds.

To get into the habit again, I am going to start light with a meme stolen from the queen of memes, Lime.

1. Name six things in your refrigerator

-12 brown eggs

- 3 red chili

- 8 Thai limes

- medium cut orange marmalade by Wilkin & Sons Ltd. (“by appointment to her Majesty the Queen jam and marmalade manufacturers.”… she’s got excellent taste, if I may say so)

- leftover potato soup

- half a bottle of low calorie tonic water

100 bloggy points for whoever can make a tasty three course meal out of it!

2. Name six things in your freezer

- 5 tubes of frozen “Go-gurt”

- small package of freeze-dried yogurt cultures for making home-made yogurt

- 2 bags of raspberries

- a loaf of rye bread

- bag of peas

- lots of frost… need to de-ice it

3. Name six things under your kitchen sink

- a pink plastic bucket, because it leaks

- a year-worth of supply of big black garbage bags. They must have been on special.

- Windex for cleaning our glass dining table.

- Cif… “powerful cream cleanser with fresh lemon scent”

- electric iron, which gets used only once in a full moon

- messy collection of shopping bags

4. Name six things around your computer

- my favorite mug, which has a lobster, coral, and fish décor, half-filled with cold coffee

- my mobile phone

- a “Flying Bird” calculator

- a picture of a heart with a smiley face and giant ears, drawn by little man

- “I love you” sticker, written by little man as well

-two security number generators for internet banking, one gray (Cosima Inc.) the other black (personal). It’s a convenient system, if you don’t misplace them…

5. Name six things in your medicine cabinet

Hmmm… let’s see

- SK-II signs eye mask… I have told you before about my strange habit of buying expensive sake cream, haven’t I?

- Clinique super-balanced make-up “Alabaster”

- Bulgari’s “Notte” perfume

- tampons

- a six year-old used pregnancy test with a plus sign… obviously, I cleaned it after using it

6. Name six things on or around your nightstand

I don’t have a nightstand. My bedroom is very small. On the floor between the wall and the bed lie:

- Weird and Wonderful, a book little man has rented from the library with lots of curious facts about wildlife.

- a bottle of water

- adapter and cable for my notebook

- the remote control for the air-con unit…. I always knew that it would eventually turn up again!