If you can’t buy it, make your own, I thought. I already bake my own sourdough bread, why not have a go at Quark?

I came across this old instruction:
1) milk a cow
2) let the milk sit in a covered bowl in a warm place
3) when it has turned into soured milk and set after a day or two
4) put it into muslin cloth and hang it over a bowl, separating cheese from whey
5) next day you have quark

I don’t have a cow, I only have a supermarket with milk imported from California, Australia, and other various places. So I went onto the internet, and other German expatriates told me that your average bought milk will not turn sour these days, because bacteria (good and bad) are none existent in homogenized, pasteurized, sterilized from udder to tetra-paked milk.

The only choice you have is to buy this non-bacteria milk and add lactic acid bacteria back into it. That’s what I did.

On the left, Californian milk which is relatively cheap at roughly US$2 per liter, and Australian milk on the right which costs more than US$4 per liter but actually tastes like fresh milk. Yep, milk products are expensive in Hong Kong, it’s soya territory.

I put a heaped tablespoon of high quality sour cream into each bowl (US$3.40 per tiny pot). Sour cream is cream fermented with lactic acid bacteria, exactly the bugs needed for turning sterile supermarket milk into soured milk. You can also try buttermilk.

The process for making quark is similar to making your own yoghurt, only the bacteria have a different name.

After a night and half day of sitting in a warm spot (blood temperature is ideal: oven heated to lowest setting and the cooled down a bit, place one foot away from central heating, etc.), the milk has soured and set, and the cream (from the tablespoon of sour cream) has set on top. The Australian milk set better than than the cheaper California milk, but both tasted the same.

Scrape away the cream (or leave it in for extra goodness) and put the soured milk into a double layer of muslin cloth or a squeaky clean kitchen towel, and hang it over a bowl (or measuring can, if your window hook is fairly high up like mine… yes, it took me a while to find a good spot)

After a day or two you will have quark or cream cheese or whatever you want to call it (with no E numbers nor xanthan gum). The fat content will be iffy, but wholesome.

I originally intended to bake cheesecake with it, but it didn’t last long enough. Half of it I ate straight out of the bowl with a spoon, some of it I served to my friends as a spread on my self-made sourdough bread, the rest little man ate for breakfast with jam mixed in.

It was better than any quark I have ever bought in Germany.

That’s the beauty of living thousand of kilometers away from your childhood home. You are forced to make the things you miss on your own and in this day and age of supermarket, indefinite shelf-life, E-numbers, genetically modified food stuffs, it will taste much better than what you can buy in a supermarket in your home country.

2) I think that all the news I need about my home country is perfectly summarized by the website of the biggest tabloid (added benefit, they use very large font).

3) I am totally immune against the newest Apple product and especially their touchscreens. Keyboards work fine, thank you very much.

4) More often I think that the latest improvements to our lives are very unnecessary. In German there is this very true word “Schlimmverbesserung” (schlimm = worse, Verbesserung = improvement… equals a change for the worse)

5) I try, really try, but some things little man finds cool, I do not get at all.

6) I think hiking is cool.

7) I think the opposite sex is interesting, and I am hoping that I  will still think  that in 30 years time.  Little man (8 years old) can’t understand why anyone would want to spent time with girls. I will remind him of what he said in five years or so.

9) I know how to knit socks. Winter is coming up and self-knitted socks are vastly superior than bought ones. I should knit more.

10) My ass and tits are not what they used to be. I still bare them once in a while… those Germans… no shame

“smelly sock lovers” – Eeeeeeeeeew!

“what is tea flavoring, rats” – They put rats in tea? Double Eeeeeeeeeeeeew!

“i am underwater” – Good for you!

“what do you call it if you are stuck underwater and you cant breathe” – Not so good for you. I would call it a dicey situation at best, and drowning at worst.

“kien hair stylist” – Kien seems to be a jack of all trades.

“What are a dirndel?” – A dirndl is a traditional dress worn in Bavaria and Austria on special occasions, for example the Munich Oktoberfest. That’s when one million Germans and two million Americans sit in giant tents, drink too much beer, and try to yodel.

In the north of Germany (where I come from, can you tell?), wearing a dirndl draws the same attention as wearing a Trekkie costume.

Dirndls worn in Bavaria are OK, I suppose, but what I don’t understand at all is the southern custom of drinking beer out of gallon-sized glasses. Bäääh! The beer gets stale and warm. Southern barbarians …

“how to ask for condom german hast” – Always glad to help :). It depends on the situation. If you are in bed with someone, who you know intimately, use the informal du: “Hast du einen Kondom?” (Do you have a condom?)

However, if you are in a shop asking a shop assistant, it’s better to use the formal sie: “Haben sie Kondome?” (Do you have condoms?) or “Wo finde ich Kondome?” (Where do I find condoms?).

Which reminds me of an AIDS-awareness-spot that was shown on German TV twenty years ago, and is now considered a classic :) … “Tina, how much are the condoms?”

“swedish word for from small hole” – Sorry, you are on your own with that one. I am only proficient in IKEA furniture names.

“cosima underwater” – You are at the right place :). Welcome!

“cosima lingerie” – I should have applied for a trademark.

“tall woman, little guys” – It happens. Don’t let it stop you from finding the love of your life. I know several couples who breach the conventions in that respect. They seem to be as happy (or unhappy) as couples who conform to the norm. I am 5′ 7 1/2” myself. Nicole Kidman (below) is 5’10 1/2″. To read the funny side of it go here.

“strong tall woman kills men “ – Gosh… there is the next Oscar winning performance for Nicole Kidman.

“japan clothed underwater sex” – The Japanese always seem to add an extra kinky twist to things and are very specialized in there preferences, don’t you think?

“minnie mouse underwater” – I hope this isn’t sexual. Here you go: