Cosima Underwater

It’s early in the morning, when drowsy Cosima drags her feet into the bathroom, grabs her toothbrush, puts some toothpaste on, and looks in the mirror.

Hag in the Mirror (HM): Hi there, darling!

Cosima: Whoaaa! Who are you? Go away! You look scary!

HM: Don’t you know me? We first met when your little baby wouldn’t sleep through the night… woke you up every hour.

Cosima: I almost forgot about you… he sleeps alright now. He just had a little nightmare last night. Go away!

HM: Is that the way you treat old friends, that kept you company through your darkest hours, when even Dr. Ferber wouldn’t help you?

Cosima: Dr. Ferber is a quack. I still can’t believe I bought his book.

HM: Well, some kids just refuse to be ferberized, don’t they? But maybe it was your fault? Not being consequent enough… those supernannies seem to be able to do it.

Cosima: Stop it now!

HM: Okay, okay…

Cosima: Let me splash some cold water into your face.

HM: Arghh, that wasn’t nice. I am not the youngest anymore…

Cosima: No kidding!

HM: I might catch a cold and get pneumonia.

Cosima: Come on, it’s not that bad. Let me also give you some of that expensive Japanese eye cream.

HM (laughs derisively): Ha ha ha…you believe this stuff will help?

Cosima: Well… Cate Blanchett takes it… she looks fabulous.

HM: Don’t tell me you actually believe that sake yeast will turn back time.

Cosima: No… but maybe the placebo effect?

HM: If you have money to burn, keep hoping!

Cosima: It was a special.

HM: …feels nice though.

Cosima: See, I knew it would.

HM: What exactly did you do in the bath tub yesterday evening? You were so loud, I couldn’t sleep.

Cosima: I won’t tell you. That’s private.

HM (smiles): Private? I bet the neighbors above couldn’t sleep as well.

Cosima: You mean the guy in workout clothes, I met in the elevator the other day?

HM: That’s the one.

Cosima: Well, him taking a piss woke me up this morning. So it’s only fair that…

HM: Don’t you just love apartment living? So don’t tell me anything about privacy.

Cosima: I won’t tell you!

HM: I know anyway. I am not that old…

Cosima: Was nice talking to you, but I have to get going… take a shower, get my son to kindergarten…

HM: Will I get invited to your thirty-fifth birthday this summer?

Cosima: Geez… I was kind of hoping you would turn up much later… around my eighty-fifth. Then we can celebrate with all the grandchildren.

HM: I get the distinct feeling that you don’t like me much.

Cosima: Don’t take it personally.

HM: Do you still remember, when you were sixteen and thought that people at thirty-five were ancient?

Cosima: I was wrong!

HM: Then why do you buy expensive Japanese eye cream?

Cosima: I told you… it was a special.

HM: Yeah… right.

Cosima: I still remember how I felt, when I was sixteen. It wasn’t so good either… figuring out your place in this world.

HM: You were just bumped that this boy you had a crush on didn’t…

Cosima: Well yeah … that too.

HM: And your hair was terrible!

Cosima (laughing): Uuuh, yeah … but it was the eighties!

HM: Let me tell you … you look much better now.

Cosima: Thanks, that’s so nice of you to say.

HM: I mean it.

Cosima: You do?

HM: Yeah, really!

Cosima: Listen… if you want to come to my birthday…

HM: Nice of you to invite me, but I have other plans.

Cosima: What kind of plans?

HM: Me and your neighbor are going to spend the summer at the Cote d’Azur.

Cosima: Really? How exciting!

HM: Don’t expect me back before September.

Cosima: Take all the time in the world!

HM: I will. Bye!

Cosima: Bye bye!

The water around her body feels like velvet. Still warm on the surface from the sun that shone all day, but refreshing and cool deeper down. She swims to the middle of the lake, to the deepest spot. Vastness, endlessness below her. The light of the pale, full moon above mirrors around her. One deep breath and her body drops into the cool wetness. Falling, gliding deeper, until she is surrounded by darkness. Icy cold water envelopes her feet, water that has not seen the light of day. Her body tells her to gasp for air, but she sinks lower, drifting into stillness. Her legs begin to kick on their own. With three powerful strokes she is above water again.

A lone figure stands at the edge of the water. She wonders why she brought him here. It’s her secret place. Her place of comfort. Why doesn’t he come into the water, why is he afraid? She is beginning to think that she made a mistake. Her body floats silently on the glassy lake, her eyes staring at the sky. Even the moon seems to want to bathe tonight. She has never seen it that close before.

Suddenly there is a muted splash, and he swims slowly, deliberately towards her.

“You scared me a little.”
“Why?”
“I couldn’t see you. For a long time.”
“I dived under water. It felt very comforting.”
“You are like a fish, I couldn’t do that.”

They swim side by side. Suddenly, she glides under water. Like Ophelia, he thinks, with her hair floating around her, small bubbles escaping her mouth. An eternity seems to pass. Her lips draw him in, under water. He wants to kiss her lips, give her the kiss of life, bring her back to him. Their mouths meet. Air travels from his mouth to hers and back. She smiles, grabs him, pulls him to the surface.

“I knew that you would come to me. It’s easy.”
“Only when you are around. Everything is easy when you are around.”

Something tickles my nose, and it is a little too warm between the sheets. You, me, and the sheets, all tangled together. Sun rays shine through the blinds and put a pattern on the wall. I put a soft kiss at the nape of your neck. Just a little one, so that I don’t wake you. Your skin tastes a little salty and sweet at the same time.

My hand barely touches, like a butterfly it is hovering above you, going up and down with your breathing, along your ear, neck, arm, and lands ever so softly on your tummy. My breath slows to the same rhythm as yours, and my hand inches a little lower. A soft sigh escapes your mouth. Quickly, I travel back into less sensitive territory.

I move closer, trying to leave no gaps between us. My thigh against your thigh. My lap against your backside. My breasts against your back. It feels like a safe cocoon of you and the sheets.

Last night, you talked in your sleep, very softly. I couldn’t quite understand. It sounded happy.

Very slowly, I slide out of bed, and go around the bed to kneel in front of you. Your face looks peaceful, with a slight smile around your mouth. My fingers touch the corner of your lips, your smile. Then I put a little kiss on your eye. Too much. A soft groan, and you turn on your back and rub your eye with your hand.

After a while, I peek under the sheets. My hand reaches out, spreads out on your abdomen, hard, so different from mine. Are you still sleeping, or just pretending? Carefully, I turn down the sheets. Your body before me, familiar and yet so new every time.

I climb back into bed, lean over you, kiss your jaw, your collarbone, your chest. Trail lower, lower, lower, and stop. Your eyes flutter open, and your smile becomes a little wider. Gotcha.

(Images shamelessly stolen from flickr)

WOMAN is standing in front of the mirror, applying makeup. MAN stands next to her.

M: We are already late. Let’s go.

W: Mmmmm.

M: I told you the taxi would come at six thirty. It doesn’t wait.

W: No, you didn’t.

M: (Exasperated sigh) You never listen.

W: You said that you would try to get a taxi at six thirty.

M: You are already beautiful. You don’t need that stuff in your face. Let’s go.

W: I will not leave the house with mascara only on one eye.

Man looks at Woman for the first time during their exchange.

M: Ok, do the other eye as well, and then let’s go.

W: What do you see, when you look at me?

M: I see my wife, my beautiful wife.

W: Why am I beautiful to you?

M: Another time? We need to go.

W: We never have time.

M: You know, I love you. But this dinner is important. X will be there as well.

W: How is the deal going?

M: You know how it is. Looks good now, but until the money is in the bank, I can’t say for sure. Let’s go, darling.

W: Yeah, let’s go.

The above is a dialogue, which I wrote after reading Goodthomas’ wonderful piece Never, who was so very kind to let me steal his idea (thank you!), and the title too, which sums the problem up so well. Goodthomas tells the male perspective of a couple’s conversation in front of the mirror, and does it much more eloquently than I.

Little Red Riding Hood

A man sat on a bench in a zoo. Behind him, the wolves were eating their meal of raw meat. Before him was the children’s playground. He found the little girl with blond pigtails and pink skirt quite lovely. He wandered to the ice-cream stand and bought a red popsicle. It was not for himself.

Snow White

The girl was thirteen, and had skin as white as snow, and hair as black as ebony. She stood in front of the mirror, applying her mother’s blood-red lipstick. Hidden in a dark corner of the hallway stood her stepfather, watching her. In the kitchen stood her mother, observing him. Wishing her daughter were dead.

Cinderella

The plain girl wished that she would be as beautiful and rich as the prom queen. She lay in her bed, dreaming of a dashing prince on a white horse. The next day, she stole a daring dress from Macy’s. When the high-school quarterback asked her on a date, she didn’t play hard to get.

tags: flash, fiction

Seems that an eternity has passed, and I can’t get there, to that wonderful place. It’s frustrating. No sleep, no release, no nothing.

Where does the light come from? Up, out of bed, to the open window. The whole street is bathed in the pale glow of a full moon. No wonder I can’t sleep.

Someone is standing on an opposite balcony. A dark shadow leaning on the wall. Just moved a bit. My heart races, while my mind goes through all the things I just did on my bed, in full view of this person. It must be a man, too tall for a woman.

I turn, and rest against the window sill. I have done it right here, only held by a man. The vertigo was frightening and arousing at the same time. I didn’t completely trust him. But when I finally let loose, I came so hard.

I start again. Inside, over, and inside again. Faster and faster. Eyes watch me, travel down my back to my ass. I can physically feel them. And I come. My whole body contracts, seems to fall into itself.

Exhausted I go back to bed, and fall into a leaden sleep.

You just read a self-imposed 200 word challenge on lurking and wanking, 100 words for each. Although I think these words sound much too harsh for what I wrote ;)

The air felt oppressive. Alex could feel the pavement’s heat through his shoe soles. His shirt was drenched with sweat and his mouth was dry. The city had been hot and without rain for weeks. The street cafes, he passed on his way from work, were full of people, escaping their hot homes and offices and drinking beer to cool down.

It had been an exhausting day. He had hoped to finalize a lucrative deal for his firm. The very first, which he had originated. It had all gone terribly wrong. Suddenly legal issues popped up no one had thought of before, and now it looked as if the deal would never happen.

Alex decided to take a detour on his way home through the neighborhood park to clear his head. There was a path leading up a hill, overlooking the city. Normally, an artificial waterfall rushed down the hill, but this time the river bed was dry. All the city’s fountains had been turned off to preserve water.

Half-way up the hill, he suddenly heard thunder. That’s just my luck, he thought. Now that shelter was out of reach, mother nature decided to let it rain for the first time in weeks. As he pondered what to do next, lightning started and the thunder drew closer. Then it began to rain. Alex had never experienced anything quite like it. In a matter of seconds, visibility was down to a few meters. Puddles formed everywhere and the thrashing rain formed large bubbles. He was soaked to the skin in no time. At first, he was angry about his plight, but as he surrendered to his wet fate he actually started to enjoy himself. He looked up to the sky and felt the warm rain falling over his face. He decided to continue up the hill to be a little closer to the sky, as other people scurried for the park’s exits.

As he reached the viewing platform at the top of the hill, the rain had eased and he could make out the outlines of the city below him in the rainy mist. The city with its many trees looked like a rainforest today. Water was now cascading down the hill in the once empty water fall.

Suddenly, Alex became aware of a dancing figure on the lawn below him. A young woman in a white summer dress with long black hair spun around, holding her face up to the rain. It was such a beautiful sight, he couldn’t help but stare at her.

He wanted to be near her, see her more clearly, make sure she wasn’t just an illusion. He went down the stairs of the viewing platform and turned around a corner. To his relief, there she was, still dancing in circles. He walked down a path and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, but his shoes made loud squishing noises with every step.

“You should take off your shoes. It’s more fun.”
Feeling like a caught intruder, Alex turned around to her.
“You’re right. I should.”
He took off his shoes and socks and unsure of what to do next just smiled at her. She smiled back, making his knees go weak. Then she came towards him, took him by both hands and drew him onto the lawn.
“Dance with me!”

Alex couldn’t believe what was happening. Heat rushed through his body as he drew her closer. He put one arm around her waist, held her hand with the other and they began to turn in faster and faster spins. She looked up to him with her beautiful smile and he couldn’t help but laugh full of joy.

Alex drew her even closer, embracing her. She smelled intoxicating. He looked at the delicate skin beneath her ear. He so badly wanted to kiss her there.

She closed her eyes and held her face into the rain. When she opened them again she looked very serious and stretched higher to kiss him.

“Goodbye, I need to go”, she said.
“No, please, not yet!”
She laughed. “I have to.”
“Before you go …”
Alex leaned his head against hers. Slowed his breath and let his lips brush over the spot beneath her ear. His mouth traveled down the side of her neck to the hollow where her shoulder began. He gave her the slightest kiss there.
“I am falling” she whispered.
“I will catch you.”

Suddenly, she pulled out of his arms, ran down the path, and disappeared around a bend. Stunned, Alex stared after her, unable to move.

Maybe it was just a dream, he thought. But then, he saw a single red shoe, lying at the edge of the lawn, and he knew that it had been all for real. He grabbed her shoe and his, and began running down the path. He headed for the nearest exit, hoping to catch her there.

When he arrived, he stopped and looked down the street. She was nowhere to be seen.

Out of breath and disheartened, Alexander sat down on the nearest bench and put on his socks and shoes. Then he examined the single red sandal: size 38, hand made in Italy, and bought at Staccato. He knew the store. It was three blocks from his home.

It’s at least a start, he thought, I will go there tomorrow.

tags: berlin, kreuzberg, short story, cinderella